Susie from
Louisiana
adlibbed by Noby Nobriga
Let me tell you
about a story about me and a girl.
Her name is Susie.
I'm not kidding.
Her name was Susie,
no "Q" for a last name,
Girl that I met. We
were out skydiving.
Oh, she told me that
she lived in Louisiana.
I said I didn't live
too far away.
Thought I'd go to
see her late one day.
She lived in the swamp
of Louisiana-a.
Oh oh, going to see
my girl,
Oh oh, in Louisiana way.
Her name was Susie,
oh oh,
No "Q" for
a last name, in Louisiana way.
So I'm driving my
car down the highway,
Trying to get to
Louisiana before the day went away.
Oh oh, going to see
Susie,
Oh oh, with no "Q."
Oh oh, going to see
Susie
In a swampy land
called Louisiana way.
And... I went down
the way, starting rowing through the swamps,
Came across a gator-a.
He came after me.
Ran into a little
hut. He was all scared of me.
Inside was an old
lady, voodoo lady, oh.
Could she help me
find my Susie dear?
Did she know the way
with her voodoo ways?
Oh oh, looking for
my Susie.
She ain't got no
"Q" for a last name.
Living in Louisiana
way. Gonna go see her today,
Find out where she
lives in the swamp and hope she didn't die today, oh oh.
Susie came out of
the swamp and there she was, beautiful as day.
I didn't know
exactly what to say, but the voodoo lady pushed me toward her,
So I stepped into
the water to walk up to her and say, "Hey, Susie. How's
everything
going?"
Then, before I knew
it, there's a big ol' alligator.
Aw, the big ol' alligator,
he came up, snuck behind Susie.
He just took one big
ol' bite of her. That's all it took
Before Su--oh oh...
Oh, Susie, oh.
The big ol' voodoo
lady, can you cast your magic, bring her back for me?
That voodoo lady
done some black magic I've never seen,
And she brought back
my girlfriend Susie, and she was all ready for me.
Susie back for me,
oh oh. Susie back with me.
Thank voodoo lady.
You are the lady.
That voodoo lady.
She saved my Susie with no "Q" last name.
Oh oh.
Don't Cry, Poor Alice
adlibbed by Noby Nobriga
... Don't let Alice
cry ...
The Dandy and the Darling
adlibbed by Noby Nobriga and
Rusty Spell
THE DANDY:
Let me tell the
story how
About the time when
I went to town
And I saw a pretty
girl walking down the street.
She's walking down
the street, and she had something in her hand.
I asked her what it
was. She said it was something grand.
Tell 'em, honey.
THE DARLING
I was walking down the
street. (Uh huh.)
He came coming down
the street before me. (Uh huh.)
In my hand, I had my
little secret. (Oooh.)
I wouldn't tell him
what it was, but he wanted to know.
He really wanted to
know.
THE DANDY:
And that's not all I
was lookin' at.
She also had a
pretty hat
And some pretty
shoes, and in between
Was stuff that's real
pretty, if you know what I mean.
She's lookin' like
the best girl in the world. Uh huh.
THE DARLING:
I told him I wasn't
that kind of girl. Uh uh, no way.
He wasn't gonna get
what I had,
No matter what he's
saying to me. Uh uh. You're not gettin' it.
THE DANDY:
But when I flashed
my money clip (Oh!),
You should have seen
her drop her bottom lip.
She couldn't believe
all those hundred dollar bills in there (Hundred!),
And she said to me,
"Take me anywhere (you want)."
That's right. ("I'm
all yours!") That's what she said. (Uh huh.)
And so, I took her
to the mall (Oh!),
And then I took her
to the fancy ball. (Oh!)
We danced all the
live-long night. (Ah!)
She didn't put up a
little fight. Ain't that right?
(That's right.) I
thought so.
What else happened,
baby, that night (Oh!),
The night that you
didn't put up a fight? (No way.)
Tell us what really
went through your head (Uh huh)
The night before we
started cuttin' up lead. (Oh my!)
Tell 'em. I want to
hear it from your mouth...
THE DARLING:
Lots of thoughts.
Every one was
naughty -- ah hoo hoo hoo -- thoughts
In my head.
I'm a lady. I can't
tell these sorts of things.
THE DANDY:
Ah, come on, honey.
The people wanna know.
THE DARLING:
Uh uh.
THE DANDY:
Come on. You're so
pretty!
THE DARLING:
Ah hoo hoo hoo!
THE DANDY:
No one can believe
that a guy like me could get a girl like you.
THE DARLING:
Well, it's just
because of all that money you have.
THE DANDY:
I guess so. I'm so
short, and you're so tall, and you look good.
And you're cute.
She's My Old Lady
adlibbed by Noby Nobriga
with Rusty Spell
Going down to the
Keys with my old lady.
We won a prize on
the radio. Gonna have some fun.
We're going to Key
Largo. Gonna roll in the sand.
Gonna do everything
we want, and I tell you what else we'll do.
We're gonna get a
nice little grass shack, maybe make us some nice potholders.
You know, we may
go fishing a little bit, spear-fishing or something, but
there's one thing
that, uh, we're gonna make sure that we do. We're gonna go
down to the beach.
We're gonna have some more fun. We're gonna enjoy it.
I really love her, 'cause
she's my lady!
We're gonna do it
all in the sand!
I really love her, 'cause
she's my lady!
We're gonna do it
all in the sand,
Cause she's my lady.
All in the sand,
Cause she's my lady.
We might go back
inside, in that little grass shack. We'll enjoy ourselves in
there. We'll make
our potholders. We'll talk about the crabs. But I know one
thing that we're
gonna do for sure. We're gonna go in there and do it.
Yeah, I really love
her (I really love her), 'cause she's my lady! (She's my old
lady.)
We're gonna do it (we're
gonna do it) all in the bed!
I really love her (I
really love her) 'cause she's my lady! ('Cause she's my lady.)
We're gonna do it
(we're gonna do it) all in the bed!
We're gonna do it
all in the bed, and then we'll go home.
When we get back
home, we'll tell all our friends about our nice little trip.
We'll even send
pictures to Mom and Dad. We'll send pictures to Aunt and
Uncle. But there's
some pictures that we'll just keep for ourselves. They're the
special ones. You
know which ones.
I really love her (I
really love her), 'cause she's my lady! ('Cause she's my
lady.)
Oh oh oh.
We'll be sure to,
uh, take that trip again next year.
Cha cha cha.
Church Announcements
adlibbed by Noby Nobriga
Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
How we doin', everybody? How we doin'? Yeah, first I'd like to
thank everybody
for comin' out here on this hot day. I know today, today is
over 120 degrees. I
know it is. But I know why everybody's out here. I wanna thank
y'all,
everybody, for comin' out here. I'd like to start off
today--I'd like to give
my thank-yous. First of all, let's give thanks, Sister
Weatherby here. Now, she
provided the refreshments. Thank you, Sister Weatherby. I got
two announcements
here today I'd like to make to all of you, all of you out
here, as you're
leavin' the church today. We got the youth group--the youth
out here, they're
selling lemonade on the street. Everybody go by there, buy
some lemonade from
these kids. We're savin' up money for these kids, so we can
take them on a troop--on
a youth trip. We're gonna take them to Rock City. Rock City,
so they can go
through the Fat Man Squeeze.
I Got a Girl
adlibbed by Rusty Spell
I got a girl. I got
a girl, and she rocks my world.
We cut up lead. We
cut up lead when she's in my bed.
We do the 6 Hole. We
do the 6 Hole, and it steals my soul. Oh, oh oh.
I've got a car. It
drives me far, but it's out of tar.
In the back seat, I'm
feelin' neat when she licks my feet.
My girl, you don't
know what she's doin'.
My girl, you don't
know what she's thinkin'.
My girl? You don't
know. You ain't gotta clue. You think you gotta clue? You
wrong about her.
She's a witch lady. Make you shady. Oh yeah!
I'm Funky (Funkin' Around)
Bloopers
adlibbed by Rusty Spell
First, you put your
funky foot. That's it!
It's 'cause I'm
funkin' around!
The Dirty Boogie Woogie
adlibbed by Rusty Spell
When I was just a
girl at the age of four,
My mom took me down
to the general store,
And she showed me
who's to block out the things on the wall,
And I thought to
myself, I'm gonna have a ball
If I get some of
those and give them to my friend,
And then I go and go
and go and go and goin' again.
And then I was the
age, I was seven of years,
And then I liked to
tell the things to man in the mirrors.
He didn't take the
math, and then I said it's a fool.
I twisted through
the fire, hit the puberty, too.
And then I get the
fire, and then I give it to me,
And then I go and go
and go and go and go in three.
Hey hey...
I was a head block
puberty.
Yeah, and I got
again American get inside of me.
And then because of
the age, I was fifteen years old.
I was waiting for
the prom, then a guy gave me a roll.
He said I was
lookin' good, I said, "You lookin' good, too,"
And then he looked
at me, and we went to the zoo.
We saw the monkeys
there, and they were touching themselves.
And then he looked at
me, he said, "You are going to Hell."
But I'm not going to
Hell, no no no.
I'm not going to
Hell, no no no.
Enjoying myself too
much on Earth,
And I'm not a-going
to Hell, no no.
The monkeys,
monkeys, monkeys, they were touching themselves,
And then I went home,
and I then I took off my shelf.
I went to him. I really
did.
I went to the record
store,
And I got me some
gin from the vodka tank,
And I gave it to my
boy. He drank and drank.
And after he drank,
I gave him some more.
And I called him
common, filthy, saying I'm a dirty whore.
I'm a dirty whore, well,
I'm a dirty whore.
I'm a dirty whore,
yeah, I'm a dirty whore.
I'll do it to you
first, and then I'll do it some more,
'Cause I'm a dirty
whore. Yes, I'm a dirty whore.
I'm fifty now.
Unfortunately, now I'm fifty years old.
Oh, God, I'm getting
old. I'm older, hey hey hey.
I'm older, hey hey
hey.
I'm older, hey hey
hey.
I'm getting old,
another minute, some more.
I'm dreading older,
and I'm older some more,
And I get the refusal.
I'm more like you.
I'm older now. And
you're older now.
Yeah, you're older
now, too.
Well, once upon a
time, well, I met a boy.
I was nineteen, he
was my new little toy.
We did one, two,
three, and four and five.
We didn't never have
the 6 Hole, I'm telling you now.
I said, "Flip
me on my back, and then you fill me with cream,"
And we got to number
six, number six, and I screamed.
I scream...
You flip me on my
back, and then you fill me with cream,
And I scream...
The number six. You
like the number six.
You need to lift me
on my back and then fill me again.
Hee hee hee hee...
Well, that's the end
of my song.
I hope the next time
you sing along with me.
I'll Always Love You
adlibbed by Noby Nobriga
All the way across
town is too far away.
It always gets me
down when I'm not around, and I see you this way.
I'll never give up.
If you go with me,
You say that it's
over and don't cry on my shoulder, bright gem at me.
I'll always love
you.
I'll never give up
on you.
I'll never be my heart
without you near me.
You never say
goodbye. You just took it away.
No chance to be
mine. No chance to be mine.
I'll always love
you.
I'll never give up
on you.
I'll never believe
my heart without you near
And forget about
you.
Lonesome Man Bloopers
adlibbed by Noby Nobriga
with Rusty Spell
That man walked back
to the shelves, picked him up a stick...
My Guitar String Broke
(Parental Advisory
Version)
adlibbed by Noby Nobriga
Turn around, you,
and what I see?
It's you layin' down on your knees.
You're tellin' me what I did wrong,
And I don't know why I did this song for you.
Oh, tell me, you.
What can I do to make it up?
I just don't know why you're up
Tryin' to tell me that I am wrong,
Tryin' to put me on down on a song.
I look at you and you look at me.
Tell me turn around on my knees.
I look at you and you tell me
Jump down to my bare knees.
Superchunkin' fine
that I see.
You stepped down on your knees,
Lookin' at me and not knowin' why.
I look at you right in your eye.
Gonna whisper to you, well, in your ear,
Baby won't you tell me why you're near?
Let me take you home all day and night.
Let's go out and let's not fight.
I'm gonna turn you 'round on your knees.
Come on, baby, come back to me.
Kung Fu Girls gonna
rip her to shreds,
Gonna tell me that we've been in your head.
Tell me why I gotta go outta town.
Tell me right now before I go down.
Time explosion,
goin' slow motion.
Not gonna know where I gotta go.
You tell me now that I gotta crown
That's gonna break, but Jill fell down. Yep.
Gonna tell me how I
gotta turn it 'round.
Don't know why I
gotta break my crown.
Gotta go tell me how
to go up.
Just gonna let it,
let it fuck up.
Well, kiss my ass, and
I kick ya out.
Get your ass right outta
my bout.
I just gonna kick
you out.
Don't come back
around no more,
'Cause I don't wanna
see you my door.
I just throw you out
of my house.
Baby, you better
leave 'fore I kick your ass.
Accidents never
happen to me.
You gonna fly right on
your knees,
And put you down and
kick you out.
Stay the fuck out,
out of my house, you ****.
Don't want you
around no more.
Just drop down and
fall on that floor,
So I can sweep you
out, out under the mat,
Blow you away just
like a cat.
Let you go and open
the door,
Let you come back,
let you come back.
Let you come in, let
you come in.
Won't you come back
to me now, baby?
I give you another
chance, and I say maybe.
What do you say? You
say, "No way."
You say, "You
motherfucker. Every day
I kick your ass
right back in the house.
I push it down,
right under the mouth."
Get your ass out of
here, you fuckin' little ****,
Before I kick your
ass and throw you in a ditch.
Copyright (c) Jun 2021 'nikcuS and 'nikcuS Productions